I slowly emerge from under my duvet like a crazy haired winter mole creature; breath the cold air into smoke rings and blink my eyes as the light hits them.
This is the cold month, the slow month, and the month where days seem short and light a little too grey, or maybe that is just in my head. The time of year where it is so so tempting to stay put rather than move or inch (in my case today) forward.
This is the month of tax and taxing times where we need to look at the reality of how things are going.
Sometimes in the time of January I consider moving to a warm country and becoming a nomadic shepherd. Sometimes I imagine living in Africa doing work with people and photographing Wild Animals. My mind drifts to all those things that make me feel warmer and more alive, and then goes back to all the things I have been procrastinating about and need to get on with.
This is the month where my natural positivity takes a little knock and I feel a little like a small anarchic punk (albeit one who has eaten too many Christmas pies) who doesn’t care so much for pink and fluffy but rather likes black and spiky.
I get over myself and get up, remember I am a grown up, and sort out the small people who skip merrily to school (ok not skip – but move a little faster than reluctantly) and then I assess the current state of affairs.
This winter torpor is an interesting state.
Yesterday I came back from a huge photography convention in London. The inspiring thing for me was not so much the convention, but the journey, the people, old friends and acquaintances, new friends and new ideas emerging in my foggy winter head.
Then I went to along to the Taylor Wessing Photography Exhibition In London at the National Portrait Gallery and remembered what I love, and why I love to do what I do.
I love work that is real that makes me think and feel. Work that has a story, and that is beautifully and sometimes harshly told but absolutely always communicates. It made me feel happy and alive to see it.
As I got back on the train to go back ‘up north’ I find the cold didn’t bother me so much. My head and brain working hard and keeping me busy with ideas and thoughts and dreams.
This year will be an interesting one, and I cannot wait to get started.
There are some amazing things in the pipeline that I will share with you very soon.
This is the year of keeping my eyes open and realizing I am very lucky indeed to be able to work in the way that I do,
I am very thankful for this.
Just sometimes when it is cold and grey, I do need to remind myself.